Rewriting the Life Sentences We Carry
This time of year has a way of surfacing the stories we don’t usually slow down for.
While interviewing Faceplant author Melisa Buie, PhD for Authority Magazine, she used a phrase that stayed with me long after we wrapped: Life Sentences.
Not the dramatic kind. The quiet ones we repeat to ourselves. The sentences that attach themselves to a single moment and quietly shape the way we move through life:
I’m not built for this. I missed my chance. I should know better by now.
In Melisa’s case, it started with a missed catch in middle school softball. One moment. One story. Years of avoidance.
I know this pattern intimately. My own life has been punctuated by moments that threatened to define me: a cancer diagnosis and a relapse a decade later. Each moment carries its own weight, and if I’m not careful, the story I tell myself about that weight can feel like a life sentence.
The holidays tend to magnify these sentences. The pauses get quieter. The noise fades. And the old narratives grow louder.
What struck me most in my conversation with Melisa wasn’t the science, the framework, or even the stories themselves. It was the reminder that failure isn’t final unless we stop interrogating the story we built around it. One missed softball catch, one failed experiment, one setback in life — these moments are data, not verdicts.
Melisa discussed the FREE method she created in her book. It’s a simple but powerful way to break free from the emotional funk of failure:
F – Focus on the failure: Cut through the noise. Get clear on facts.
R – Reflect on your reactions: Understand your emotional response without judgment.
E – Explore your options: Chart new territory. Fail forward.
E – Engage: Flip the script, act with intention, and repeat.
What I love about this framework is that it mirrors life itself. The process isn’t a one-time fix; it’s a muscle. The more you practice, the more freedom you build around the things that once held you hostage. Its the freedom to try, to experiment, to fall, to get up, and to try again. And when we normalize that process (when we build environments that treat failure as developmental rather than disqualifying), we unlock growth that’s exponential. After all, isn’t finding our way through the messy middle what it’s really all about?
As the year winds down, I’m sitting deeply with this question:
What’s the sentence I’ve been carrying that’s ready to be rewritten?
If you would like to read the full interview with Melisa, packed with stories, insights, and practical strategies, you can find it here: Melisa Buie: On Becoming Free From the Fear of Failure.
Savio P. Clemente is a journalist, keynote and TEDx speaker, and creator of Adaptive Resilience Leadership for high performers. A two-time cancer survivor and board-certified wellness coach (NBC-HWC, ACC), he rebuilt his life after a life-saving stem cell transplant — what doctors call a medical rebirth. Savio has interviewed 2,000+ leaders on global stages about resilience, mindset, and human performance. Through his best-selling book and high-impact keynotes, he helps leaders turn adversity into strategic advantage. 🔗 saviopclemente.com ↗