Is Self-Focus Making You Lonely?
Is Self-Focus Making You Lonely?
Have you ever felt like you were Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole, except instead of a grinning Cheshire Cat, you're surrounded by self-help books and motivational quotes? Yeah, me too.
For the past 26 years, I've been on a self-discovery journey. Devouring personal development books, attending workshops, meditating until my legs went numb — all in the name of becoming a "better" version of myself.
But here's the kicker: all this navel-gazing sometimes leads to the loneliest places. It's like a paradox — the more I focused on myself, the more disconnected I felt from the world around me.
With my TEDx talk in October, Taj Mahal backdrops in December, recent 10-course tasting menus, and covering the celebrity smiles at the Oscars red carpet – it all seems so grand from the outside looking in. Yet, despite these achievements, there's an underlying sense of detachment that's hard to shake off.
Why is the road to self-actualization so darn rocky? Philosophers have been pondering that one for centuries.
Yet, amidst the chaos of our quest for personal growth, there lies a revelation: the missing link isn't some hidden technique or ancient secret.
It's about shifting the focus from "self" to "connection."
This is what I know to be true:
Success is only as sweet when it can be shared. The outside world with all its trappings is a nice-to-have, but never a nice-to-keep. Beauty ultimately fades, but the beauty within will last a lifetime. Nothing is ever given without some kind energy that originally gave it. Gratitude is a powerful force, a practice we cultivate, not a permanent state. Understanding and appreciating experiences over possessions is key to true fulfillment — it always comes from sharing our successes, not hoarding them.
And most importantly, it comes from letting go. Clinging to the past, to expectations, to any notion of a "perfect" self — that only holds us back.
So I invite you to ponder:
How can you cultivate a sense of belonging in your life?
What are some ways to practice gratitude on a daily basis?
How can you let go of things that no longer serve you?
Our hearts can be strengthened instead of diminished, our minds can be focused instead of scattered, and our intuition can be sharpened instead of dulled.
Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Empower your well-being. Weekly wisdom for your “three brains" head 🧠 heart 💓 gut 🤰. Click 🤍 button to spread the love. Share the wisdom to help inspire others! 👇